I bet he comes in French.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Randomize
