it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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