can u get pink eye on your cock?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize