May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
