I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
