i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
time to smoke my breakfast
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
