i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
