just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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