Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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