I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I have fence marks all over my body
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
