Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you didnt know i had herpes?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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