just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
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Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
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BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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