After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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