Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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