i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
