South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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