i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
