we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i came on her dog
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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