It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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