Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm determined to sit on that face.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
