Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize