so that wasnt chicken after all
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
this is an emotional support booty call
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
