The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
