Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
