so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize