I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
