can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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