What a fucking waste of an outfit
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
