He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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