I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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