hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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