I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize