My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
