Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
