the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
