You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
