would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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