Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
