My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
