I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
