Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
