Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
