We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
