I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
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I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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