they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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