Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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