it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
