We're like a lot better than the average bears
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think your dad took our porno
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
