So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
