Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
