thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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