wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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