then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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