turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
