After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
