I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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