I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
