If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
