Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Never underestimate the power of titties
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
