actually, I'm a sock model
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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