i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
