how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
