Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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