is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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